Hanging in the Tension

A while ago I wrote a blog about the house that I own and how I had followed my heart to speaking my truth and created a shift with my parents in terms of moving forward and selling my house so that our family would grow and become sovereign.

This created a huge amount of tension for me, because I "knew" that everyone would be against this move, I would get attacked, disowned and it would cause an incredible rift in the family; even more than the current living situation was doing.

I found myself in this cycle of trying to work out what I was supposed to do like get a valuation done, speak to estate agents, find out if it would be viable, what do i have to do, who must I speak to... I had to figure out how I could manipulate and convince my brothers that this was for the best. I completely forgot about what I would truly love to happen, my end result. This wasn't about me or them, it's about our parents. 

I went around and around in this cycle, one day I was going to put my foot down and make it happen, the next I was cringing in the corner trying to forget what I had to do. I had to have the discussion with my brothers about the situation but no matter how convinced I was, I "knew" there would be trouble. All the time the tension grew and the situation got worse. Months passed in this.

I would try to stay focused on my end result, I looked into it, I did processes, but I always seemed to be stuck... and I never let it go, it was always there.

And then all of a sudden a shift happened; I realized that I didn't need my brothers' permission or the acceptance of the situation in order to do what I wanted. I didn't need to convince them. What I want is true and that's all I have to focus on.

Synchronicity happened the very next day when my one brother announced to me that he was moving out and just like that the entire situation changed; the conversation became easier to initiate and moving into next phase became more tangible.

When we can hang in the tension created by a situation, we gain valuable insights into our motivations and the actions that our identity drive us to take. When we don't let go of our end result, no matter how many times we slip off the path, the tension created will always resolve in favor of it... and the best part was that I didn't have to DO anything.